Checking in with myself on this PhD-thing (year 3)

As I write this to you from my couch, I am creeping the halfway mark of my third year in the PhD program. Because I could not help myself, I have also been enrolled in an en route MA in History of Science and Medicine (which means more courses) and will officially wrap up with my last semester coursework! (slow clap)

Tracing my footsteps back to year one back in August 2022 feels longer than what it is. This journey has been a marathon where I’m still learning my pace in how I want to participate. It’s been a complicating relationship of learning and unlearning. While I’m on the verge of all these forthcoming milestones in the program, I can’t help but feel unsatisfied for not showing up with more capacity and also feeling overwhelmed of doing the thing that I came to do? Nobody warns you of the unknown territory that is the third-year, the “halfway” mark on a road you’re constantly paving as you go. A wise friend told me I need to tolerate the ambiguity and we will do just that.